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Post by tomplum on Jan 18, 2018 22:56:40 GMT
As its our forums birthday this month, 31/1/18 , the challenge to find something more weird that the photo that PB took is too hard, the new challenge is, A saying that you have heard from someone that seems very fitting, for instance, " rules is for Fools" or " all the gear but no idea", The best one will be choosen on the !st of March, £20 cash prize, good luck everyone, |
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Post by battle1066 on Jan 27, 2018 6:42:23 GMT
When asked by the big Boss "how's the job going and will it be fixed on time" my Gaffer used to tell him "No, you've got more chance of getting a wank off the Pope"!
i used to piss myself laughing everytime I heard him say it.
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Post by tomplum on Jan 27, 2018 9:22:58 GMT
Ha Ha thats a good un smiley-laughing021
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Post by dickpuller on Jan 27, 2018 9:30:53 GMT
‘Hard of thinking’
’she’ll never get her big arse in the caravan’
’never laughed so much since the wife died’
’more brains in a false face’
’as thick as mince’
’I’d rather have Jimmy Savile babysit my kids’
’as tight as two coats of paint’
’short arms & deep pockets’
’they call him Bungalow Jim, there’s nothing upstairs’
Thats my starter for 10!!!!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 11:40:33 GMT
He runs with the fox's and hunts with the hounds. ( He's two faced)
This won't buy the babies boots ( Get back to work)
Eat when you're hungry , drink when you're dry ( lunch time)
He can work out the square root of an egg but can't cook it (An academic with no common sense)
I'm here for a good time not a long time ( Make most of life)
Better to have it and not want it than want it and not have it ( Think forward)
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Post by jord86 on Jan 27, 2018 14:48:35 GMT
If he had one more brain cell, he'd be a fucking cucumber!
You can't have the penny and the bun.
Miracles I can do, impossibilities will take a bit longer.
Tradesman I am, not a fucking magician.
He's such a cunt, that if he entered a cunt competition he'd come second. Why? Because he's a cunt!
Let's have a pint, my mouths drier than an Arabs flip flop/nuns chuff.
You can't take it with you.
Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll meet them on the way back down.
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Post by glowbug on Jan 28, 2018 10:28:20 GMT
Heres my bill, Its £1.00 for hitting the pipe with a hammer, & £99.00 for knowing where to hit.
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Post by crowsfoot on Jan 28, 2018 11:44:39 GMT
My all-time favourite is the very true "A lot of fancy fishing tackle catches more fisherman than fish" The first plumber that I ever worked with didn't particularly like coffee and had a saying "Coffee = 1P per cup. Tea =£1.00 per cup"! Both sound like a bargain in todays market, however, back then a cup of tea would only cost you 3p in the café  . "About as good as a one legged man in an arse kicking completion" also being one of my favourites. "Let the dog see the rabbit" - when you walk into a dimly lit property and have to put a light on to see what's leaking. "I can fart and warm myself up more than this ruddy radiator" was said to me once by a customer.  Tappy, |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2018 11:58:08 GMT
YOU CANT FIX STUPID !!! was another saying I liked.  |
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Post by tomplum on Jan 28, 2018 13:14:07 GMT
a Wigan saying,
Tha can't put owt where there is nowt, or you can walk along with a man with wooden leg, but you can't talk to a man with a wooden head,
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2018 13:39:51 GMT
Another one my mentor used to say was, "expect a bit of dust with your coal"
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Post by joinerjohn on Jan 28, 2018 13:43:01 GMT
What page is the birthday challenge on please ?
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Post by battle1066 on Jan 28, 2018 14:03:35 GMT
YOU CANT FIX STUPID !!! was another saying I liked.  I don't get that one PB. |
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Post by battle1066 on Jan 28, 2018 14:10:28 GMT
On one of the ships I sailed on the ship the Chief Engineers work board used to have this saying:-
"Remember no job is ever as bad as it seems, nor as good as it seems, it's all just nuts and bolts, so just piss with the cock you've got"!
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Post by joinerjohn on Jan 28, 2018 14:36:25 GMT
Some of my favourite sayings.
"If you had two brain cells , you'd be gifted." " If you had three, you'd be unstoppable."
When asked if I can do a job for an Asian,, "You've got two hopes,, Bob Hope and No hope."
Talking about a girl I knew,, "What's difference between her and a KitKat?" "You only get four fingers in a KitKat."
Talking about the same girl,, "She's got legs like Stork SB,, Spreads easily."
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